Threads of Existence
As I write this post; I find myself in yet another zip code and time zone. I'm not sure this zip code feels just right, but I'm working hard to stay present
We're gearing up for summertime and with that comes the elusive dream of rest and relaxation that we nostalgically hold onto from our childhood. However, as an adult our jobs fail to cooperate and go on holiday during these hot summer months. In fact, they often seem to pick up speed like a freight train headed for a canyon with a ghastly amount of dynamite lit and ready to blow at any minute; okay maybe I'm becoming a bit dramatic.
The lure of summer has baited my children these past couple of weeks and I can see their eyes start to twinkle in anticipation. I've been watching them longingly; trying to figure out how I could harness some of their innocent wonder. Thinking that if I could just figure out how to REALLY live in the present and not worry about remembering to put the checkbook in my purse, meeting the next deadline at work, or even pondering/stressing about where we will live in the fall of 2016. It's with this constant mirage of thought that I find myself this past Saturday morning.
The day broke like any other with no sense of eeriness. We had plans to attend a carnival in the morning and then head off to a company picnic in the evening. In fact, I was rather pleased that we managed to keep things pretty low key for once. As we walked back to our car upon the completion of the carnival, I took a step that unfortunately changed my world. I know many of you are thinking broken limbs here, but I have a far less entertaining story. We rushed to Urgent Care (fearful of the broken), but came out badly sprained with up to 6 weeks of recovery. Looking at my diagnosis among all of the potential tragedies that surround us; my injury is rather benign.
I can't say that I've been handling this minor set back too well though. This past week has been a roller coaster of false hope, stubborn will, sheer pain, and utter defeat. I'm stubborn. I pride myself on being strong and self sufficient. It's how I cope with moving so often and it's become part of my sense of self. So you can only image the blow this has injected into my ego.
My ankle is becoming more than just a physical inconvenience for the next several weeks. It's quickly becoming a game changer. God is forcing me to sit down and look around. To show me that I'm not built to be self sufficient and I'm surely not capable of living the life he's designed just for me if I continue to see myself in this way. This injury has every so poetically given me what I asked for; That ever elusive summer of relaxation and philosophy. God is calling me out to take a closer look at myself and REALLY see the gift of right here and now. To realize that my life is built on relationships and I will fail to make a difference if I continue to try and live in isolation or in the anxiety of the future. We need to be present in order to see where we're needed right now.
Our lives are meant to be woven together; like a fine tapestry that has endured centuries of use. The tapestry of life; and a single thread on its own will never have the capability of holding anything together. It is through these interwoven moments of leaning on others and then allowing them that same grace, that we form strong bonds necessary for the endurance and beauty to create that perfect piece; our story.
We're gearing up for summertime and with that comes the elusive dream of rest and relaxation that we nostalgically hold onto from our childhood. However, as an adult our jobs fail to cooperate and go on holiday during these hot summer months. In fact, they often seem to pick up speed like a freight train headed for a canyon with a ghastly amount of dynamite lit and ready to blow at any minute; okay maybe I'm becoming a bit dramatic.
The lure of summer has baited my children these past couple of weeks and I can see their eyes start to twinkle in anticipation. I've been watching them longingly; trying to figure out how I could harness some of their innocent wonder. Thinking that if I could just figure out how to REALLY live in the present and not worry about remembering to put the checkbook in my purse, meeting the next deadline at work, or even pondering/stressing about where we will live in the fall of 2016. It's with this constant mirage of thought that I find myself this past Saturday morning.
The day broke like any other with no sense of eeriness. We had plans to attend a carnival in the morning and then head off to a company picnic in the evening. In fact, I was rather pleased that we managed to keep things pretty low key for once. As we walked back to our car upon the completion of the carnival, I took a step that unfortunately changed my world. I know many of you are thinking broken limbs here, but I have a far less entertaining story. We rushed to Urgent Care (fearful of the broken), but came out badly sprained with up to 6 weeks of recovery. Looking at my diagnosis among all of the potential tragedies that surround us; my injury is rather benign.
I can't say that I've been handling this minor set back too well though. This past week has been a roller coaster of false hope, stubborn will, sheer pain, and utter defeat. I'm stubborn. I pride myself on being strong and self sufficient. It's how I cope with moving so often and it's become part of my sense of self. So you can only image the blow this has injected into my ego.
My ankle is becoming more than just a physical inconvenience for the next several weeks. It's quickly becoming a game changer. God is forcing me to sit down and look around. To show me that I'm not built to be self sufficient and I'm surely not capable of living the life he's designed just for me if I continue to see myself in this way. This injury has every so poetically given me what I asked for; That ever elusive summer of relaxation and philosophy. God is calling me out to take a closer look at myself and REALLY see the gift of right here and now. To realize that my life is built on relationships and I will fail to make a difference if I continue to try and live in isolation or in the anxiety of the future. We need to be present in order to see where we're needed right now.
Our lives are meant to be woven together; like a fine tapestry that has endured centuries of use. The tapestry of life; and a single thread on its own will never have the capability of holding anything together. It is through these interwoven moments of leaning on others and then allowing them that same grace, that we form strong bonds necessary for the endurance and beauty to create that perfect piece; our story.
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